buymeabrain.com - When only a brain will do

Provide your clients with a way to funnel their comments and advice directly to you.

Mind of their own, Brains

Help us stamp out online stupidity

Our Service

Buy Me a Brain provides a funnel/portal/channel/conduit/link for your website or YouTube channel so that your patrons who want to provide feedback, suggestions or abuse, can access you directly. So, in effect, they can "buy you a brain" when they think you don't know what you're talking about.

The "Brain" they buy for you is free of cost or if they want to encourage you they can accompany their "suggestion" with a donation if you wish to provide that option.

Just fill out your details specifying how you would like their request forwarded to you. Or you can choose to have us intercept their request and provide our Neurosurgical Service*.

You then place our pre-programmed "Buy Me a Brain" button on your site or channel with your own accompanying caption, stand back, and get ready for informative "suggestions" to come flooding in.

* Our Neurosurgical Service

Where the help you need is beyond the ability of your client to provide, they can choose to use our Neurosurgical Service.

This is where we employ experts in fields relevant to the given problem to provide a tailored response targeted to the relevant area of the brain. For example:

• Frontal Lobe (for better decision making)

• Hippocampus (to help you remember your own talking points)

• Full Upgrade (when the entire brain needs replacing)

In line with our commitment to stamp out online stupidity, this service is currently being provided free of cost, however we may have to introduce a modest fee if we are overwhelmed with requests and where pro bono experts are not available.

Try for yourself with our own button

Buy Us a Brain

Thought Leader Bartholomew S. Quant

A rejuvenated Professional Visionary at work

What our "Transformed" Creators are Saying:

"Before Buy Me a Brain, I was filming myself eating 10,000 calories of spicy noodles for clout. After my fans crowdfunded a new Pre-Frontal Cortex, I’ve pivoted to 12-hour video essays on the socioeconomic impact of the bronze age collapse. My parents finally answer my calls again!" — Chad 'The Glizzy' Thompson, Ex-Influencer

"I used to spend eight hours a day arguing with strangers on X (formerly Twitter). One 'Full Brain Upgrade' later, and I realized I could just... close the app. It’s like a lightbulb went off in a room I didn't even know I had." — @KeyboardWarrior_99

"As a 'Thought Leader,' I was running dangerously low on actual thoughts. I was down to just three buzzwords: 'Synergy,' 'Disruption,' and 'Pivotal.' Thanks to my subscribers, I’ve just installed a 'Nuance' module. I don't know what it does yet, but it sounds expensive!" — Bartholomew S. Quant, Professional Visionary

Like these brave brain beneficiaries, you too can experience the elation and the warm, smug feeling you get when you realise that not only are you better than everyone else, but you are also better than you used to be.

Join the fight to stamp out online stupidity and take a positive step to improving your own online presence by installing a "Buy Me a Brain" button on your website or social media channel. Your patrons will appreciate your efforts to improve the quality of your offering and with a bit of work and a bit of luck they'll get to appreciate your improved online presence as well.

Disclaimer

“Buy Me a Brain is not a medical provider. Results may vary. Side effects of sudden intelligence may include: increased skepticism, a reduced urge to follow trends, and the occasional feeling of existential dread. Please use your brain responsibly.”